When my ex wife and I divorced years ago I felt at the time that while we shared many common values, we differed in one core respect which almost inevitably led to that ended. To her, beauty was a reality ‘out there’; to me, beauty was in the eye of the beholder and completely relative. Our view of life was fundamentally different. This was only part of the answer for me though. I’ve wondered for years why people tend toward one point of view or the other.

Eureka!… maybe. Reviewing people I know well, I noticed a correlation between how competitive they tend to be and the point of view they favor. The more competitive folks seem to favor the view that reality is something out there in its own right. Why? Seeing a real ‘out there’ gives them the emotional incentive to win ‘it’. Not needing to win ‘it’ that much, less competitive folks are more likely to be comfortable with the view that ‘out there’ is merely a reflection of themselves.