Luke thinks I have a little bit of a problem in socially approaching a situation because according to him, I don’t look at the person until the last second.
That’s not quite true. There’s a bit of a process. It starts when I approach the person I want to talk to from afar. As I am walking forward, I look at the person’s whole self to see what’s on his/her person, what he/she is wearing, the shape of their body (That helps later on to pick somebody out of a crowd) and basically whatever you see when you look at somebody. It’s much easier to look at somebody from head-to-toe when he/she isn’t looking at you. When you are face to face with somebody, the only thing that’s socially acceptable to look at is the person’s face.
Now after I have inspected the person while walking forward, if I still have some more distance to walk before getting the person’s attention, there’s no point in still looking at the person so I look at my surroundings. Finally, once I am in front of the person or if the person has noticed me, I engage eye-contact and proceed to talk.
Anyway, once I’ve made eye-contact, I tend to just keep looking in their eyes when they’re talking. Most people (mostly in men I’ve heard), while they look at the person who’s talking , they sometimes look away occasionally and then resume eye-contact. I find it easier/simpler to just keep looking in their eyes wether I’m paying attention or not. Now, Papa said that that is what women do but I’ve seen him do the exact same thing when somebody is talking to him. Nothing wrong with that. It’s convenient to not look away too ’cause it’s more polite. Plus, it makes them keep talking which, while I may not be interested, it gives you a higher “rating” with that person. (’cause the person will like you more when you let them talk rather than you taking up all the speech-space)
Now keep in mind, this mostly applies to people I don’t know well. With family, I don’t tend to look at the person because, hey! We’re a family! We’re beyond looking at where we’re talking.