In the beginning of this year, Mama has discovered this Dr. Phil-ina who looks like a slim Paula Dean from the Eating Channel. Anyway, this gal Byron Katie has a life-changing way of taking the fun out of arguments. How? well, when you feel negative feelings towards somebody, you take those feelings and turn them around. Let’s role play here: So, think, “That guy is stupid!” Well, when you Byronize it, it sounds like this, “That guy is not stupid! I think he is but it turns out it is a reflection of my feelings towards myself which I am projecting onto this Starbucks clerk who gave me a Double Cha-Mocha Ascretymbia instead of my regular Grimbles Coffeeprimonade.” Sure, it puts a more Taoist Perspective on life, but it’s hard to have a good argument with Byron-Vision turned on.

Anyway, Byron has quite a hold on people. Mama has really gotten into this gal. She’s boughten (yes, it’s correct grammar. . . in Kyle’s Speleeng and grammer Dictionary) almost all of her books. What’s more, she is probably one of her biggest promoters (besides Three Rivers Press, her publisher). But boy, she’s preached it (to quote Luke’s old girlfriend) to quite a few people. Most of them have jumped on the band wagon and are telling others about it. Nothing wrong with that, I used to do it when I read Frank Herbert’s Dune series.

With this hold Byron has on people, just you wait. Someday, Byron will say the secret word (possibly ‘Sassafras’ or maybe ‘Kilowatt’, could be anything) and all of her followers will be switched into zombie-like butlers, arms hovering in front lumbering towards Byron’s lair to do her bidding.

I’m just sayin’!